I Look Around

by Vanessa Richardson

I am tired of being single. I want to spread my wings and mingle.
I look around and see young girls who look like me but not single.
I look around and await your smile
I look around and await your touch.
I look around and await you to come into my life.

Well you came into my life 
and along with you came misery and strife,
you just about ruined my life. 
You came in with your deceiving smile 
and just thinking of it in me arises bile.

Now your love for me you did proclaim 
but in retrospect that sounds so insane. 
Now you hailed me as your queen 
and our love you announced as supreme. 
You said I was royalty 
and all I got from you was disloyalty.

You were like a predator. 
I was only a victim in which you preyed upon.
You came in the form of a sheep 
when you were a wolf skin deep. 
You preyed upon the weak, 
you came into my life when loneliness was at its peak. 
For you it was only a thrill you did seek.

I didn't know who I was 
everything in my head is just a fuzz. 
Looking for love in all the wrong places 
when in fact I should have stayed in God's good graces.

I didn't want the loneliness, 
so I stayed with your looneyness. 
I didn't want the solitude 
so I dealt with your attitude 
losing myself bit by bit.
Spiritually, physically and mentally 
you continued to hit.

I look around and I saw someone who was like me, 
she was there all the time
I just never noticed her until now, wonder why? 
She must have a good man treating her right, 
I bet he holds her real close during the night. 
hummm, with her everything looks all right.

She exemplifies beauty and grace. 
She looks so free and I thought to myself
I wish that was me "free." 
Tears are in my eyes and streaming down my face
for the dam has finally broke and here I now stand in disgrace 
and all the hurt is taking its toll 
and my soul feels so old.

I raised my head and saw her stroling towards me ever so bold, 
I felt like I was loosing control. 
I wanted to run. Why? I don't know. 
She was free and I was bound, 
she was everything I wanted to be and wasn't you see?

She approached me and asked was I all right. 
In her eyes there was sincerity and warmth. 
I wanted to say yes, but realized that it would be a lie, 
so I said the first thing that came to mind.

"He must treat you really well?" she smiled and said 
"Yes, I am nothing without him, 
he is my everything, he is my life, 
my all and all and I am here to offer him to you today. 
His name is Jesus."

"Now this man I did know but I hurt so bad 
I can't let him in, all I want to be is free." 
She smiled and said "Jesus he is the key."
Now I profess to wanting to confess, 
but I don't want to be alone."
She said "With Jesus you will never be alone." 
and That I should confess and come on home, 
so I did. Right there I said Lord to you I come.

Now I know how to love and to be loved. 
Now the right one came into my life
and with him there is no misery and strife. 
With him there is communication and gratiification. 
A God fearing man with a plan who knows how to treat his woman. 
I saw this girl who looked like me the other day, 
I ran to her and said to Jesus name blessed be. 
I asked her what her name was she said Esther
it was right then and there I turned and blessed her!

I Look Around by Vanessa Richardson

© Copyright 2002. All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be duplicated or copied without the expressed written consent of the author.

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