School Days

by Shani Cruz

Summer of the dawn
When life was carefree 1993 
and braids hung heavy
thick mustached cat in science class 
We sat in the back
Got off the bus
Sanctifying stoops with cherry pops
Names on my notebook
and Reebok classics
Semi curious
Too shy to say
Steady playing do you like me
check yes no maybe games
Left your number on my divider
Came to find us kin reunited
and 1995 rolling up my shorts
Got seniors staring at my thighs
So sweet and brown
Spit truth through my pen
Saw emotion in his eyes 
One night we cried a revelation
of passion and pride
inside a selfish shelter
often called high school
He's cool but do I love him in that way
and how do I know
Now it's 96
Mind you various dudes preying on my innocence
Still he's the only cat I trust enough
to love in the only way I know how to
So what if he got a girl
How many brothas have I messed with
I just want to be the thought in his daydream 
So hungry for a touch similar to the sun's depth
and now I realize the love I had
was misdirected
cause Love is not desperate
Love is not jealous
Love is exclusive and love
can't arise from self hatred
though I 
often miss
school days

School Days by Shani Cruz

© Copyright 2001. All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be duplicated or copied without the expressed written consent of the author.

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