Divine Black Men: Loving a Black Man
Iíve been saying for a long time to my girl friends that someone should write about the positive side of loving a black man. Iím sure every one is tired of the endless litany of horror stories. The love 'em and leave 'em. The wham bam thank you mam. The heís a dog cause all men are dogs stories.
Its no wonder that everything you see or hear about Black Men is raping and pillaging. Yet we all know who the true kings of Rape and Pilage are donít we? (ah but that's another story).
Anyway, a long time ago when I was just a young girl, I use to watch my Mom and Dad fight and I swore when I grew up I would find me a Black Man who would love, honor and cherish me. Because to me, cherishing did not include constant slapping, hitting, and pushing. Honor did not include sleeping with everything that wore a skirt. (Of course back then only women wore skirts). And love, oh yes love, certainly did not include leaving your wife with seven children, no car and a home that was about to fall apart.
So my friends and I, we went out into the world looking for love in all the wrong places. However, since there is a divine power, love found me. And I know several other sisters who were able to find those fine black brothers that the magazines donít write about and television never shows.
Yes its funny the statistics sayt that 1 in every 4 brother is either on drugs,dealing drugs, in jail or gay. But the flip side to that statistic is that 3 out of every 4 brothers are NOT on drugs, dealling drugs, in jail or gay. So if you look at it form that view point. It really isn't surprising that 7 out of 10 of my closest friends are very happily married to Fine Black Men for more than 10 years.
My children's father is black man, strong, caring, teacher, carpenter, electrician, and business man. There are certainlly a lot of brothers out there. They take time to care about the kids in the community. Coaching baseball, basketball, football, and track. They spend time with their friends watching the game or playing the game. I've seen my brother-in-law travel across the country wih my sister and a carload of teenagers to compete in the Junior Olympics. I've watched my ex-husband teach 6th, 7th and 8th grade all day and coach baseball at night. Why? Because they care. Why? Because they are the men in the community. I've seen them show young black men who would otherwise lose their way what it means to be a strong black man.
These are the same men that pick up thier wives for their wedding anniversay and fly them to Hawaii. Not allowing her to pack a stitch of clothing. Oh but I forgot he's not there. These are the same men who are out in the community teaching the addicts and dealers to see that the drugs are making them lose their souls. Oh, but I forgot he's not here either.
For a long time the television has been preaching that we need some outside assistance from the powerful white corporate and religious leaders to show us how our black men should be. I say forget those outside influences. Sitting, standing, walking or laying right next to you sisters, is a fine black man. Be he a garbage man, bus driver, cab driver, teacher, student, young, old, fat, skinny, dark, light, or somewhere in between, he's a fine black man.
Sisters when is the last time you looked at your fine black man. Not thru the eys of the lily white, conservatives who print NEWSWEEK, BUSINESS WEEK, WALL STREET JOURNAL OR THE CHICAGO TRIBUNE. Not through the eyes of the wary white jewish constricted, restricted eyes of the networks: ABC, NBC, CBS, or cable.
But through the eyes of a Fine Black Woman looking at her divine mate. For he is Divine just as you are. I mean DIVINE DIVINE. NOT JUST DIVINE. Because all things created by the creator are divine. But a Black man is DEE VINNNE as in Denzel, Spike, Billy, Sidney, OJ, Arthur, Larry, Micheal, Luther Divine.
Its in their walk, their talk, their build, their eyes, their voice their ears, their hair, their color, their spirit. DEE VINNE. If they could bottle it and sell it. Theyíd make millions. You know and I know it.
For too long Fine Black Sisters have been using the wrong role models. The wrong visualizaton to bring divine light into their lives. But the Fine Devine Black Man has got the light because a Fine Divine Black Sister gave it to him when she gave him life.
Sisters, look at your Fine Divine Black Men. They get up every day and go to work. They come home to cut the grass. They might even cook dinner. Doesn't he hold you tight. Isn't his loving sweet at night. But youíll never see that on TV. Ever notice how you never saw Bill Cosby make love to his wife. There was always some family crisis. And this was Americaís # 1 black family on TV.
I'm sure all of you know why. Because they already know that hes a Fine Black Man. They just don't want you to know. It's not by accident that so many of our Fine Black men are married to the flip side. Because they already know. They knew when they first brought us here. But thatís not when the campaign to pull the wool over your eyes began. It began long before when the first white king of egypt tore down the temples and buried our books. It began when the noses were being burned, scraped or blasted off the faces of the sphinx. It began when Cleopatra became a white woman in a wig. Instead of the sister with locks we all know her to be.
So my Fine Black women look at you Fine Devine Black Man. Watch them in football games and compare the physices. Study the statistics of the Fine black quarterback, running back, cornerback. Read the music history, and learn who the founders of jazz, blues, country western, and rhythm and blues were. Research the black inventors and see the Fine Black Man who created the shoelaster, refrigerator, gear shift, toilet, ironing board, traffic light, etc. And was flying around in airships over Chattanooga, Tennessee, before Orville and Wilbur Wright had even come close to flight. Delve into ancient history to find the worldís first university, medical center, astrologers, astonomers, scientist, writers, healers, surgeons, mathematics. And above all love your Fine Divine Black Man Nurture him, watch him grow, bloom, blossom and flower.
Yes I said flower because a strong Fine Divine Black Man begat another fine black man and that means there will be more to go around. UNPREPARED. Unprepared, life does not prepare us for loving. As young women, we watch false images of virginal white beauty on television programs design to brain wash our spirits into believing that western civilization definition of women is what our men want and desire. Our men also are brain washed into accepting a standard that doesnít fit their own spiritual and physical wants and desires. They and we are taught to subjugate our own natural desire for rounded bodies and strong arms. Our menís eyes constantly stray searching unknowingly for answer to a hunger that never seems to be filled. Longing for a peace or a piece that will complete puzzle.
Sometime quite by accident the piece of the puzzle finds you or at least piece (peace) that comes close enough to lose the hunger, fills the void and lays flat in the space, but unfortunately most of us are unprepared.