It's 2:28, a.m. that is and my precious baby boy is fast asleep
All day long Iíve been feeling weak
You see, Iíve been going down like a pilot calling for mayday
Trying to figure out how the hell Iím goning to make it before payday
Thought it was going to be the end when I picked him up from daycare, Ms.
Your son needs some more diapers. ďOh, reallyĒ, I said.
ďNo problemĒ, but when I stepped outside I broke down and cried
Anybody who would have seen me, would have thought that somebody had died
I try to talk it out with my friends and they tell me, you know, you have God.
And even though I know that this much might be true,
sometimes my faith gets a little shaky when the rent is due
Sitting here watching an infomercial about losing a few pounds
Thinking if only that was the only thing that had me feeling down
Havenít seen his father since he was three months old in my womb
My son is 17 months now; I guess his father still needs some breathing room
And my mother, well sheís no help to me,
because she wants me to put her first and my son second.
Asking me for money every payday like Iím a human bank
Wanted me to keep her floating while in the meanwhile Iím about to sank
I couldnít afford our relationship anymore and now she doesnít call
But I didnít lose a mother, just lost a user was all
And then there are them days when my mind has a lot of reservations
On dealing with the basic principles of self preservation
I pull out every weapon in the world to try to keep going on
Every ďyou can do itĒ phrase and ďitís gonna be alrightĒ song
Going back and forth from Maya Angelouís, I rise, to Tupacs, Keep your head up
But when thatís over, Iím still looking at an empty cup
Get myself together and pull out the change, 10, 20, 30; yeah thatís right,
I said 10, 20, 30; Ďcause you see these are the dimes
I had used up all of my quarters the last time
So, that makes four dollars and that will be enough to get to work on that California freeway
and I can take my lunch, so that will give me some leeway.
Get some diapers from home to take to daycare, and Iíve almost done it again
Still got a long way to go in this war, but this battle Iím about to win
Iron his clothes for tomorrow, call and work out a payment plan for the gas, water, and lights;
I will have to push them off until the payday after next.
Pay the rent, put half on the phone
and then my future paycheck for the past due bills Iím budgeting for will be gone.
Its 3:42, a.m. that is and I just figured out a way
Iíve got my plan in place, on how Iím gone make it until I get to the next payday
But donít feel sorry for me, Iím no better than any other
This is what we have to do, this is the life of a single mother