Excerpt from "The Master's Words"
Every relationship is a risk. No matter how well we may think we know someone, we only know as much as that individual allows us to know- we only see what they are willing to let rise to the surface. Thus, the possibility of being with someone and not knowing him or her is quite high. Today, more often than not, we find many, man people with shattered hearts because they became involved with what they saw and thought instead of what really laid beneath the surface. Today, we find many people are being hurt because they are involved in a bad relationship in which emancipation is needed, but is seemingly far away. Get ready for your freedom- Pack Yo' Bags.
- Enslavement vs. Relationship
Enslavement is defined as the "act of making one a slave, to make one bound in servitude to a person or household as an instrument of labor." Slaves have no choice. They have to work. They have to clean. They have to cook. They have to do whatever his/her master told them to do. If their master says jump, they have to jump or be whipped. If their master says go fetch this, they have to hop to it or be whipped. If their master says pick up the pace, they have to put a little pep in their step or be whipped! As you can see, their choices are quite circumscribed- either they do as they are told or they reap the consequences. Duty or discipline. What is commanded or whacking with a cane. Pleasure or pain. This is what they face. They know not to run for they will eventually be caught. They know to stay alive, happy, and "unwhipped" they have to make their master happy- and that is what slaves of yesterday and today do daily!
A relationship is an un-mandatory, unforced, voluntary, fifty-fifty bond initiated by two people, maintained by two people, involving two people, centered on trust, forgiveness, and compassion. It is completely your choice whether you are going to be involved with someone or not. It is completely up to you whether you want to be single or "spoken for." It is completely up to you.'
We find in many relationships today people forget that they are in their relationships voluntarily. They don't have to be there, if they don't want to be there. Your partner does not own you. Your partner does not have a nonrefundable lease on your heart. You can leave him or her anytime you get ready. Unlike slaves, there is no law that says that you have to stay there. Unlike slaves, there are no bounty hunters to come after you, looking for you- planning to do you harm. Unlike slaves, you can leave whenever you get ready. If you don't like what they are doing to you, pack yo' bags. If you don't like how they treat you in public, pack yo' bags. If you don't like how they talk to you, pack yo' bags.
It's easy in these month-long, year-long relationships to forget that there is nothing binding- nothing that is mandating that you stay there- it is simply your choice, not a commandment. It is simply your pleasure, not your permanent status. It is simply your own will, not your unwavering right to stay with that individual. It's all up to you.
-Why Be Emancipated?/Causes for Emancipation
In regards to the question "Why be emancipated" allow me to ask this question, "Why emancipate the slaves?" After all, they were free labor and their work made America a better place.
The slaves were emancipated because there were human. They have rights. No one- no where under any circumstances should be placed through the torment and pain of being a slave. No one deserves that! True it was free labor- but they paid the price of slaver through the destruction of their own customs and languages, through the severe beatings and hangings of their brothers and sisters. True it allowed "Cotton" to be king, but they were focused to be the lower dregs of society. They were forced to eat the leftover scraps so that Cotton could recline and enjoy the luxury of being America's monarch. True it increased commerce, making America a wealthier and "better" place, but their families were decreased by the casualties of war. Their families were sadly crippled by the loss of their fathers and brothers and uncles and mothers and sisters and aunts in the war.
You should be emancipated from your bad relationship for three reasons:
a) You are human- you don't deserved to be treated like a piece of property- you don't deserve to be dragged around, tossed around, pulled around all for the sake of a relationship. Believe me, your relationship is not worth that much. It's not worth being belittled and unappreciated and undermined. There were relationships before you and they'll be relationships after you. Your partner will not die! They didn't die when that person before you left them and they won't die when you leave.
One of the biggest crocks that I've heard in my life is this: "If you leave me, I'll die." You'll die? Yeah right! What have you been doing those years before you knew me? What have you been doing those months before we met? What have you been doing from the day you were supposedly born until now- living off a machine? Stop lying to yourself! Stop lying to me! Stop Lying- PERIOD! You won't die when I leave. I'm not your brain. You survived before me and you'll survive after me.
b) You aren't cheap junk. You weren't made of reject material. You are the best you that you can be. Your qualities aren't free- they come with a price. For instance, if I wanted a Sony CD player in my car, no matter how hard I tried, no matter how I stare and push the displayed version in the electronics store, that CD player is not going to appear in my car unless I pay the price. You should have enough self-esteem and self-confidence in yourself not to be sharing your qualities with anybody unless they buy the whole package. Don't give away your smile if you partner doesn't want the whole package. You're too valuable to be handing yourself out for free. Remember someone somewhere is willing to appreciate and care for you in the way that you need to be appreciated and cared for. Someone is looking for someone like you- don't sell yourself short!
c) You can't work miracles. Yes, your presence in the relationship is important. Yes the relationship would not be a relationship without you. However, you cannot keep a relationship together that is doomed. Don't spread yourself too thin trying to keep your relationship together- it just will not work. You cannot effectively do your part and someone's part. It is only when both parties in the relationship are doing their individual parts to the best of their ability that the relationship is truly a relationship- instead of a sentimental experience.
-The Cost of Emancipation
Anything worth having in life will cost you something. A car is not handed out to you free of charge. A successful job is not handed to you on a silver platter without work- without a cost. Your emancipation is not going to be given to you without a cost. According to a traditional Afro-Cuban rite, "...sacrifice is the basic concept of our universe."
Your emancipation will cost you some "so-called" friends. Your emancipation will cost you demerits in your reputation. Your emancipation will cost you a few tears. Your emancipation will cost you a few unanswered questions. Your emancipation will cost you a few sleepless nights. Your emancipation will cost you.
Although you will feel bad when those friends walk out of your life- although you will feel bad when people are ostracizing you to the highest extent of the word- although you will get tired of soaking your pillow with your salty tears in the early hours of the morning- although you will get tired of trying to answer those questions that no one seems to have an answer to- although you will get tired of tossing and turning all night long, trying to find an answer to those problems which are invading your soul, I have found that after your emancipation comes, and Freedom severs those ties between you and that worthless partner of yours, you will look back over all of those nights and say that it was well worth it. There is nothing that can compare to being free. Free to breathe. Free to grow. Free to be yourself.
Yes, it is nice to be with someone, but I would choose freedom every time. Let those friends leave. Let those tears fall. Let those questions confuse you; but be encouraged that after all of those things are over with, you shall stand the victor not the victim. You shall stand as the conqueror not the conquered. You shall stand in the midst of those tears. You shall stand in the midst of that confusion. You shall stand!
Let me conclude by saying that life is too short to be engaging yourself in a relationship in which there is no growth. Do not allow yourself to be the guinea pig of a dog! Do not allow yourself to be another link in a dog's chain.
Dogs today only continue to be dogs because we allow them to dog whomever they choose. Instead of trying to safeguard our friends and family members from these dogs, we allow these dogs to prance about and do harm to whomever they choose. We don't try to stop them. We don't try to help them. We simply throw up our hands and say, "It ain' t me...that's them." Don't fall into the mindset that these dogs are going to change miraculously overnight. These dogs don't change- they multiply. Dogs breed dogs. Players breed players. Hustlers breed hustlers. No matter how well you may dress him up, no matter how nice you may make him smell, a dog is a dog is a dog is a dog!
Don't settle for less than the best! If your relationship is enslaving you.... PACK YO' BAGS!