What do you want in a man?
Is that the question you asked?
I am puzzled, confused, what you donít know?
Am I giving you a task?
I will look at you sideways and wonder what magic answer you expect
and then quietly I will dispel the words honesty,
strength, commitment and respect.
A brother with an essence of power, a deliberate swagger and a cocky strut;
confident in who he is even when things around him are uncertain.
Show me the sensitive, yes my baby, itís ok.
Give me the real deep down side of you, that is what will make me stay.
You see I think from birth you have gotten it all wrong.
Iím not looking for someone that must always perpetrate
that he is so damn strong.
Strength is in the sharing and the giving that you do.
Strength is when you trust me, your woman to see the real you.
For many years over and for years to come
brothers are mislead and left in the dark.
Give me a moment for now I am compelled to impart
the secrets, the yearnings and the expectations
that come from a sisterís heart.
Make no mistake we have loved you since time began
But you must first understand us to understand the term man.
We are one, you and me, and from this fact you can never depart,
loving me means loving yourself and there is where you start.
The first lesson to learn is what it means to love me.
If you want to know more than close your eyes
and with your mind begin to see.
Hold my hand, not my hips
Kiss my soul before you attempt at my lips.
Lay your head in my lap and tell me about your day.
Donít you know thatís why Iím here and for your success I always pray?
I will not fault you if you begin to cry
about the doors that were slammed in your face
when you pushed them too far.
It is me that will reassure you that no matter what you are still my star.
I realize you get tired and your frustration grows,
I feel your struggle, share your anger and your pain
I am here to stand beside you and beside you I remain.
But where are you my black man?
My pride, protector and provider, where do you stand?
I am looking at you, looking at me asking what I want in a man.
Courage and commitment is what Iíll say.
The courage to love and the commitment to stay.
You say you are born to play around and for me youíre not right
Well hell, what makes you think staying committed is not a fight?
Donít be ignorant and think that I was born faithful.
Itís a job, itís a chore
and my own conscious decision to not make myself a whore.
It is not your woos and kisses or longevity
What keeps me from another manís bed is simply me.
I control what I do and I do it because I care
but think not for a moment that a six pack
on a sexy manís stomach does not cause me to stare.
I am human and in being so I am subject to lust.
Itís a job to be faithful but the reward to that is your trust.
So donít try to tell me that you canít do it;
that you have not matured there just yet
it is that same disillusion that will fool you
into thinking you are the only man that can make me
What do I want?
Donít you know, canít you guess?
It is not a hard question.
Certainly not a test.
I want you, pure and simple, just come as you are.
I donít need fanfare, fancy clothes, money or expensive cars.
Contrary to popular belief and the rumors that are told.
I donít want to be in your pockets, Iím not digging for gold.
I was there in the cotton fields, you saw me there right?
Under the sweltering sun right beside you and then there for you at night.
Fixing you cornbread and greens, rubbing salve on your welts.
It was me that was there beside you through the hardships that life dealt.
But where are you now?
I am still standing here wondering when and what made you change.
You look at me foreign and you act somewhat strange.
Suddenly you donít know me and canít see inside my soul.
The fire that kept us together has seemingly grown cold.
Gone are the days when you didnít want me to struggle.
Unheard of now are times when you can hold me close only wanting to cuddle.
You seek me out in the clubs, grocery stores and malls.
Whispering in low tones on the phone setting up a booty call.
I sigh with disappointment because I need your help not your sex.
I watch as you run to the door wondering what I may say next.
Itís a shame but the games you play are tiresome and old.
Itís hard to be loving you when my screen needs fixing
and the refrigerator no longer gets cold.
The trash needs to go out and I need something from the store.
But why should you notice those things since you always leave so fast
You donít come around as often and your visits donít seem to last.
Perhaps you are still on full; content from your last piece of ass.
You donít need me to fill your belly tonight and your back is not sore
Damn you once again.
Am I only your whore?
My sonís need a model, not a daddy;
one of those they already have and Iím not trying to replace him..
I can teach them so many things but they need someone who looks like them.
To mold them and teach them how to grow and be men.
To talk to them about lifeís ups and downs, play and laugh and then;
A trip to the barber, some catch in the park,
a lesson on locking the house at night when itís dark.
Donít get me wrong I am not helpless and all these things I can do myself.
But fault not a sister for being tired and wanting a little help.
God made you first and next to me is your space.
Iíve been doing it all for so long, please come and take your place.
I donít claim not to need you because to do such is to lie.
Iíve kept myself strong but yes I get weak and I need you when I cry.
Hold me and caress me, speak faith in to my heart.
Compliment me, encourage me, tell me Iím cute and funny and smart.
Heal my hurts and my pain, through ups and downs stay.
Work with me not against me.
Take time with me just to play.
What do I want in a man?
What is it that you must possess?
What will make me weak with joy and happiness?
If these are your questions my answer is simple and straight.
If you must ask me what I want then already you are too late.
It is not what I want so that thought please dismiss.
A man does not ask what he must be,
A man just is.