Sometimes it doesn’t pay to do the right thing, or I guess what everyone tells you is the right thing. Sometimes you work real hard to get where you want to get, follow all the rules of society, and you still feel that ever-strong kick in the ass, telling you to get back into your place boy!
I heard that voice loud and clear two months ago, while doing my internship with Shawl Enterprises. This was my dream job, what I had been working hard to achieve from the moment I walked into the front doors of the University of Maryland, my ultimate goal had always been to becoming a CPA, a certified public accountant. I knew the market was stiff for the type of position and money I was looking for, and I also knew that the four tests I would need to past in order to gain my certification would not be an easy venture. But when I had been lucky enough to get an internship at Shawl, well needless to say, my confidence in my future boomed. Of course it was just an internship, but that’s a big foot in the door with any company, being that they usually will hire you after graduation, if they liked the kind of work you did during your internship, so I was on my P’s and Q’s.
But like I said, sometimes it doesn’t pay to do the right thing, and Anne Carmichael helped me to see that during my time at Shawl. She was a senior partner at the firm, and responsible for the interns that year. Ms. Carmichael was what you call a powerhouse; she was stylish and smart, with half the men on the firm watching every step they made to make sure they walked a straight line with her, me included. But she seemed to like me, which helped me breathe a little easier. But sometimes, a person can like you TOO much, and I learned that the hard way.
“Jermaine you are doing such a splendid job here, and just between me and you,” Ms. Carmichael drew a little closer to me and whispered in my ear, “we’ve already decided to hire you after you graduate in May.”
I was thrilled. “Dang, I don’t know what to say, I mean Shawl Enterprises is the top of the line, I just hope I don’t disappoint you in any way.”
“Oh I’m sure you won't,” she smiled softly, suddenly reaching her hand out and wiping at something on the side of my mouth. I jumped, laughing a little when her manicured red fingernail traced my full bottom lip. “You had a crumb on your face from whatever it was you had for lunch, I’m sure you’re a hearty EATER, but maybe next time, use a tissue?”
"Thank you," I said, clearing my throat. The double meaning behind her words were almost tangible. Was she flirting with me? I shook myself. I really had had a long day. I smiled again and slowly proceeded out of her office, fully aware of her eyes, still glued on me.
I was happy. She couldn’t have given me better news, and so I spent the rest of the week steadily trying to keep up my good impression. It seemed as if there was nothing I could do wrong in Ms. Carmichael’s eyes. But still, I busied myself in my work, wanting to learn all I could from these experts in the accounting field.
That Friday, Anne Carmichael had left a message while I was at lunch for me to come see her in her office after quitting time. I quickly made my way over there, hoping I hadn’t made any mistake with the presentation rough draft I had sent her earlier. Her office was empty, her secretary not being at her desk, so I wasn’t sure if maybe Mrs. Carmichael had forgotten about wanting to see me, and had also gone home. Just as I was about to turn and slip out of the door, I heard her voice.
“Where are you going Jermaine?”
I turned toward her voice, giving her a smile. “Hi, I didn’t know if you were in there with your secretary not being at her desk.”
“No come on in, I let her leave early so that she can catch her son’s soccer game.” She looked down at her watch, and then smiled secretly, looking up at me. “And um...lock that door will ya?”
I was curious to what she could want to talk to me about; she had a curious look to her eyes, still smiling at me. After closing the door to her private office, she turned around and looked at me, her eyes falling to my feet, looking slowly up my body till they stopped at my lips. Hmm…what was going on here?
“Jermaine you have to know that I’m very attracted to you.”
“Excuse me?” I just know she didn’t say, what I thought she said. She walked up to me slipping her hands around my waist, rubbing them slowly up and down my hips. My mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water, I wanted to push her away, being that I definitely was not attracted to Anne Carmichael. Shit, she had to be hitting at least forty-five, and I was just twenty-three. Older white broads were not my thing.
“You’re a good-looking young man, and I just love me some black dick…” With that she pushed me backwards into the leather recliner in front of her desk, falling to her knees in front of me.
“Ms. Carmichael I don’t…I don’t really know what to say, I mean I’m flattered and all, but I have a girl-friend, and I…” She was not listening to me; in fact, I stopped my words of protest in mid air when I heard the zipper of my suit pants going down. “Mrs. Carmichael…Uhhh!” She took me, all the way down in one swallow, moaning and wiggling her head. She raised her hand up for a moment, looking at me and licking her lips. I tried to ease her away from me gently. “You taste so good baby, don’t worry, you got a girlfriend, I got a husband, you don’t tell, neither will I,” she moaned, taking me back into her mouth.
This was my boss, my boss! If this was some other chick in the street that was on me and I was not attracted to her I would push her away with no problem, but with her, Anne Carmichael, what do I say? What do I do? I stifled a moan, she was acting like she had the damn munches; I had never had no woman sucking me the way she was doing.
I put my hands in her long blonde hair, trying to ease her away, when she suddenly pulled my pants down further, gripping my ass cheeks, and held me close to her, she had swallowed me again, and had opened her month wide, allowing me to actually see my rod sliding up and down into her mouth and throat. I couldn’t stop this, I couldn’t stop her, and at that point I was too turned out to even want to. Suddenly she gulped deeply, and held it, not moving her head anymore, just holding me captive in the deep recesses of her flexing throat muscles as my hands gripped the arms of the chair I was sitting in, clenching it tightly. I screamed out as my body exploded, my seed washing her tonsils again and again.
“Um…Jermaine, Jermaine, Jermaine…I knew you’d be sweet...” My hands and body were shaking as I opened my eyes to see her looking down at me with appreciation. I quickly zipped up my pants, jumping up out of the recliner to pull myself together. I couldn’t believe what had just happened, or that Mrs. Carmichael would…well dayum!
“I don’t know what to say, I mean, thank you but I can’t be…” she cut me off.
“Shh…” she placed a finger at my lips, “this is our little secret ok? You enjoyed that?”
“Yes of course I did, it’s just that I don’t think it’s very business-like to be…” she cut me off again.
“Shh…I’ll see you Monday morning, you have a good weekend,” she smiled. I left out of her office, totally confused, but also knowing that I had suddenly been caught up into something that was way over my head.
The following few weeks went by normally, except for one thing, a couple evenings out of those weeks I spent in Anne Carmichael’s office with my dick in her mouth, or either inside of HER. I knew it was wrong, and there was no way I wanted to be kickin’ it with her, but I was nervous, her favoritism toward me could change just like that, and she was not only a power force at Shawl, she was a power force period, and me being young and new, I was stuck. It all seemed to come to a head a week before the end of my internship. I came to find out that Mrs. Carmichael had always had a thing for young black interns. Jimmy Harris, one of the accountants who had recently been hired sat with me in our coffee-break room one day, and ENLIGHTENED me.
“So she got to you huh?” Jim inquired, smiling.
“Come on my bru-tha, you know who I’m talking about,” leaning closer to me he whispered, “that old ass dick hog, Carmichael.”
“Man how you know about that?”
Jimmy looked at me and laughed. “Come on what you thinking? Do you really think you are the first black boy she’s been jocking? That’s the way she works, the way she operates. Her and her fake ass make-up and strong smelling expensive perfumes, acting all like she high-class and what not, yet she’s one nasty bitch, and will eat the shit out your ass if you fuck her right, plus give you a raise, “ he snorted, “how you think I got in here? Sexual harassment at its best. See if a man was doing that shit it be on, but a woman? They have power beyond what is normal or right.” He took a swig of his coke before adding, “Look man, the way I see it, sometimes you got to do what you gotta do to make it in this big bad world, just a word of advice though? Don’t ever cross her, or you’ll be done here.”
I thought long and hard about what Jimmy had told me for the next couple of days. One thing I was always proud of was that I had always done things the right way, and kept a proud smile gleaming on my mother’s beautiful face. I couldn’t help but wonder what her face would look like if she knew what I had been allowing to happen, not even to mention the strain that I had been dealing with my lady, she could always tell when something was wrong, and I had never made a very good liar. I had to put an end to this, the whole dirty little scenario, and fast.
I went into Mrs. Carmichael’s office the following morning, not wanting to wait until after hours when her secretary would be gone.
“Hey sweetie, it’s always a pleasure to see you in here,” she cooed.
“Yea I, I needed to talk to you about something,” I said hesitantly.
“Well have a seat darling,” she gestured for me to sit down.
I cleared my throat, feeling my practiced words getting thicker and thicker. “I’ve been thinking a lot about what has been happening with me and you after hours, and I really don’t feel good about it, or feel that I want it to continue.”
All was quiet for a moment, she looking at me with a serious, pensive glance.
“Jermaine, do you have any idea how much I can help you?”
“Yes I do, and Mrs. Carmichael, I’ve told you before how much I appreciated what you’ve taught me and the chance you’ve given me here with Shawl Enterprises.” I lowered my voice a bit. “But the sexual stuff, I really don’t want it, like I told you that first time I have a girlfriend, and I’m pretty serious about her, I’m sure you understand.”
A tight forced smile encased her face. “Sure I do, and it’s been fun dear, lots of fun, but now, business as usual. It’s ok really, plus, your internship is just about over, so it’s back to studying for that big test for you.”
I felt an odd feeling listening to her, but I smiled back, standing up to take my leave. Just as I was about to walk out, the odd feeling hit me again, forcing me to turn to her and ask. “Mrs. Carmichael you said that I had a sure position waiting for me after I pass my CPA exams. That’s still ok right?”
“Well Jermaine, nothing is a sure thing, your performance was excellent in the beginning, but remember you did miss a few deadlines, so all of those things will be taken into consideration before making out final decision.
“But you said it was a sure thing, and what deadlines did I miss? I’ve made doubly sure to get all my work in early in fact.
I was already dismissed; I could see it on her face. “Like I said, we always get back with our interns, after we do a full review of all your credentials and your performance here, plus your grades, and the results of your exams. Nothing is guaranteed dear, I’m sure you can understand that?”
I nodded, knowing I had already been Xed out as far as she was concerned. She was doing this because of what I had just told her. What had Jimmy told me? Don’t ever cross her. But what about crossing myself? My rights? I walked out of her office, really not even getting a chance to talk to her again before the end of my learning period with Shawl. A month later I graduated, took my certification exams and passed all four with flying colors. But even with all of that, the crisp neatly typed letter from Shawl Enterprises, rained out all my future dreams with that firm.
Dear Mr. Ryan,
As I said before, sometimes it doesn’t pay, to do the right thing.