I need to find that first shine
the sun brings in the dawn
Cause my life is phucked up right now
and just like Badu said
the shit just keeps going on and on and on
i dont think itll ever stop
its got my dreams haunted with premonitions
of me dropping down 6 ft deep for good
suspect thoughts like a hood child
with unfufilled dreams
Victims of perception and reality
like Ashanti sings songs in A minor
i wish i had the power to write that one liner
that would flip the switch
that lightens this darkness
following me everywhere
like it was the accomplice to the robbery
that took my ambition
how'd that be for some irony?
find the path of the truth
through the haze of many lies
and im still a product of my youth
youd think id be surprised somewhat....
But im not
Its just all my thoughts are beginning to swirl
so what kinda shit you got bothering you in yo world?
Cause my world got me seeing things in shades of orange
like im the first nucca on mars
how's that shit for black history?
but my world got me hearing birds chirping
and trippin the phuck out
cause i swear they be dissin me on tha low
Lost my direction
so which way do i go
for an interjection of some semblance
of where common sense used to get its mail
my world got me feeling like when i take a breath
that God just be setting me up to fail
Cause we all gotta die sometime
Fighting with my rhymes
like im trying to do rehab in a lika store
cause my flow sees the light
but i keep pulling it back
wanting to deejay a pity party
and im the only black person going
See my words be knowing where i need to be
they're the reason why im free
so why wouldnt i listen?
Im trying to figure it out myself
cause i dont want to die
And im hoping somewhere in this haystack of words
there's a sign that reads...
Cause i be seeing abstract visions of my demise in stealth
And i be running from death like it has white sheets on his head
like the grim reaper suddenly ran out of clothes
and said phuck it
ill just use this old pair of sheets on my bed
cause my soul is too leery of things you cant see but feel
like there's a knock on my front door
and my mailbox has "E Till" painted on the side
im no king but i have had many dreams laced with gleam
and a mockingbird cant sing on the soundtrack to how im living
because my way of life is too gory
a wolf in sheeps clothing
like denzel played on A Soldier's Story
do you have any answers for me?
because i've collected all the questions
heard all the ideas, thoughts, prayers and suggestions
of what it is that's making me see a black sun in the sky
is this shit all in my mind?
some dysfuntional cloud formed for my talent to shine?
whats the reason to my rhyme?
because ive got so much of my time at stake
im trippin like a single catholic girl taking birth control for headaches
feeling fake like Michael Jackson using Oil of Olay
i dont know what else to say
left without any other choice
there's nothing more for me to give
so for once ill shut the phuck up and try to just