i gave you the finess i possess with all of its grandeur.
giving you my herbal essence with each spectacular stroke i gave you my soul.
as i hold you, sweating your sweat, and breathing your breath,
listening to you as you say that i am you and you are me,
it was then that i realized that i need to release the pressure from my heart
and become philosophical with you.
and tell you that i am nothing without you.
Whisper so softly and tenderly in your ear
that i love you in a way that is unconditional.
to remind you that i am your kryptonite (even you said so yourself).
i am the one thing that makes you weak. and that alone seperates me from everyone else.
i want to tell you that you complete me in a way that i can't explain.
that it drives me crazy when you allow hoes to grind on you.
and the joyful expression that face holds as the create these acts of desperation
kills a small piece of my heart everytime i look at you.
i want to remind of the all the calls and text messages we have shared
and when you stopped calling and writing i was devastated.
because i thought what we had was so real and virgin.
that everytime we have an sexual escapade and our flesh meets,
i lie to myself and try to believe that it is an expression of our unspoken love.
but i know that i am wrong. and that hurts.
even though i keep enduring the psychological abuse and the lies,
i know that it is all make believe.
i want you to look into my eyes and see the pain that i feel
because i know that your time is only temporary like a season.
i want to ask you why you don't love me? why the need for all the lies?
i want to be more than your convient booty call.
i want to be your first and your last, your love and your friend; i want your heart.
i want to lay in your arms and cry in despair
and have your empathy to soothe and strengthen me.
i want to kiss your arm as mine gracefully intertwines
and the midnight breeze gently kisses our faces.
i want to lay in your arms after a mindblowing love making session and know that i am loved.
you know that we belong together because it is our fate.
just open your eyes and realize that i have you mesmerized.
most of the time i can't stand you and want to fight you.
i try to move on with my life and just look at you as my past.
i want to tell you that as i listen to love songs and even rap
i still find myself daydreaming about you and reminiscing
about some of the moments that we have shared.
i want you to know that i caress my pillow at night
while constantly longing for you because without you i go into withdrawls.
i want to tell you that i understand that you are a business man.
you don't have to do it alone. just give me the signal and i will be your business woman.
i want and need to just be next to you.
i really wanted to tell you all the things that plague my mind and my heart everyday.
to have you justify all the mixed emotions that i have boiling inside.
so you can comfort me and say that everything would be okay and we would survive.
but i chose to keep the chaotic peace to myself and just enjoy being next to you.