"God don't want no coward soldiers!"
"That's right Passa! You Better Preach!"
"Aaaa man!" another member shouted.
"You must be a warrior for Jesus! Is that right saints? Aw, ya'll don't hear me!"
"We hear you Passa! Speak his word!"
"Haaa le lujah!" some more members cried out.
"The doors of the chuch is open! You may come by letter, Christian experience or candidate for Baptism. Whosoever will let him come..."
The Deacons slowly and stoically rose from their assigned seats and strolled to the front of the altar, lead by the chairman to welcome any new potential saints. The congregation seemed to be waiting with bated breath to see if anyone would be brave enough to step forward and admit they didn't know Jesus.
Mother Jones broke the silence with her favorite Dr. Watts. In her still, wavery, whiny voice she began..."When I rose this morning I say thank you Lord." Then she took it up a half key and increased the volume..."When I rose this morning I say thaaaank you ooh ooh Lawd!"
Honorary Deacon Williams chimed in with his weekly pew sermon..."You better love the Lord chuch and keep his commandments! The Lord is good all the time!"...he waited for the response...
"All the time the Lord is good!" rang out from the worshippers.
Sis. Davis with her silk daisy in her profile hat leaned over and whispered to her neighbor..."What he know about keeping the Lord's mandments? He ain't keepin' nuthin' but the other side of Mother Jones' bed warm. Know they nasty having sexual intercourse at they age. Me? I am happy with Jesus alone."
The neighbor had a peculiar, bewildered look come over their face but didn't respond to Sis Davis' gossip.
"We see there is none, but yet there is always room at the Cross."
The trustees knew this was their cue to grab the offering trays.
Here goes Sis Davis whispering to her neighbor again..."I dunno why they gettin' them trays, I ain't finna be paying PASSA's bills with MY tithes. He just gone use the money to pay his MISTRESS rent on that apartment he done set her up in and don't think nobody know."
The neighbor heard Sis Davis but still did not respond. They just wanted to give. They reached in their wallet and pulled out the last tattered dollar they had.
Sis Davis being as "observant" as she is peeked over and saw the inside of the empty wallet. "You betta keep yo last dollar. It'll do you more good in your wallet than in that tray."
The neighbor put the dollar in the tray anyway. "You know youza a real fool. You just gave them trustees yo last dalla anyways? Not me.Give my last to this chuch? Nuh uhn!"
"Anymore announcements? Please govern yourselves according to the announcements on the back of your bulletin. Don't forget about our 3rd Sunday fellowship on the lower level. The kitchen committee been workin' hard. So won't you join us? Oh, will all visitors please stand?"
The neighbor stood. "Welcome Thank you for coming. If you don't have a chuch home, please come see us again and join us on the lower level." The neighbor nodded in a thank you gesture and had a seat.
It was quite a spread downstairs. Fried chicken, fried jack, fried potatoes, fried corn, fried cornbread cakes, greens, spaghetti, potato salad, 7 layer salad and coleslaw. ... And Sid Davis' secret recipe butterbean casserole garnished with green onions and paprika. For dessert, every kind of cake you can think of....pound, carrot, cheese, chocolate, better-than-sex, up-side-down pineapple, 7-up...etc. And...Sid Davis' secret recipe egg yolk pie garnished with sugar and cinnamon, put to bed in a chocolate crust.
The neighbor sat alone eating, greatful to be having a meal after not eating for 3 days. Here come Sis Davis. "Ain't nuffin' wurf eatin' but the butterbean casserole and the egg yolk pie. These people bring they nasty food from they nasty houses every 3rd Sunday. I don't know why Sis. Lyles bring her nasty spaghetti. It always be the 1st thing to go. I guess people wanna hurry up and get it out the way as not to hurt her feelings. They always leave the butterbean casserole and egg yolk pie for last...you know saving the best. I always get to take some home."
Still the neighbor said nothing, hardly noticing Sis Davis. Still greatful to be eating. The Passa walked toward the table to greet the neighbor. Sis Davis saw him coming and tried to get gone. But he caught her in passing. "Hey Sis Davis! God bless you!." "Same to you Passa. That was a powerful message this morning. Blessed my soul so! Did you get some butterbean casserole and egg yolk pie Passa? " "I'm awfully full Sis Davis but I sure asked the kitchen committee to fix me a to-go plate." Sis. Davis made her departure, proud as a peacock, not realizing Passa never answered her question.
Passa sat down with the neighbor. "Thank you so much for coming. I hope you enjoyed yourself. You full? Sure was good wasn't it? I noticed you didn't stand up when the doors of the chuch opened. It's not so important that you join my chuch or any other. What's important is that you know Jesus. Do you know Jesus? Do you know he loves you and he died for you? Not only that, he was risen from the dead to wash away your sins? If you believe that, you are saved."
Suddenly the room went dark and silent and a parabola-shaped glow surrounded the neighbor's shoulders. Then for the 1st time the neighbor spoke. "I have been waiting for you. I wanted to know if you would receive me like you preach from your pulpit, if YOU believe in me. Servant, well done. But your work here is not finished. Your church needs you. And we gotta to do something about that Sis Davis. That dag on lady got on my nerves!!!!"
This piece was created for the Serendipitous Nouns Game from the Discussion Board utilizing the following words:
butterbean, candidate, parabola, daisy, intercourse, warrior