The Definition of Love

by Dilys D'Gold


As a child I often wondered what love was all about at first I associated love with a kiss cause my mother kissed me before I went to bed and said ďI love youĒ but later I learnt that Judas Iscariot kissed Jesus and this betrayal lead to the death of Christ at Calvary. Then I became confused and thought perhaps the words I love you meant nothing too. How would I know whoever said those words meant it from their heart? I pondered. As I grew older I became aware another kind of love the Greek called it Eros Ė the sexual love between a man and a woman. The media portrayed it as the real kind of love but in my mind I wasnít sure cause I knew that love shouldnít cause so many people pain cause this one sure did.

I heard of incidences where a brother would lay with one sister and tell her he loved yet a few hours later he would go lay with another and utter the same words and my confusion increased. How do you know if a man or woman is true to her words when they say I love you? Then I became aware that Eros wasnít only between a man and a woman it could be between a brother and another brother or a sister and another sister and my confusion be came overwhelming. I had to figure out what humans defined love as. I asked many questions: How come love gave birth to so many fatherless kids? Could a brother know the true meaning of love yet conceive a child with a woman he professed heís love to and then turn his back on her and his child with no remorse? That couldnít be love or could it be? So I concluded sex was not equal to love but it could be a means of demonstrating love once respect, affection, devotion, loyalty and commitment had been proven beyond doubt thatís a food for thought huh? How do you prove these beyond doubt?

My frustration mounted cause I still hadnít found the meaning of love but my search continued. I discovered that wherever there was hate there was war between the parties concerned. Then it dawned upon me that if war was the fruit of hatred then peace had to be the fruit of love so wherever there was love there shouldnít be confusion or jeopardy. This was the turning point of my life. So if a brother said he loved a sister or may be the sister said she loved the brother the sign that this was true would be that they would both experience a sense of peace in their relationship at least most of the time. So brother or sister if you have no peace of mind in that relationship probably love ainít got nothing to do with it.

So looking at the bigger part of the picture isnít it ironic to hear leaders say they want children all over the world to grow in a peaceful place yet some of them support the production of deadly weapons to promote war in other parts of the world let me remind you that war is not brought about by love this means most of our leaders donít even begin to have a clue of what love is all about. So maybe no one really knows what love is all about because we are so obsessed with trying to satisfy our own selfish desires.

Many have mistaken something else for love myself included. So many have been burnt by love or so they believe. But I must say if youíve been hurt or been in pain for the sake of something you called love donít be afraid to try love again cause I can assure that that first experience was not love at all you might have been dealing with someone, a system, an organization, or a people who hadnít taken the time out to find out what love was all about. I believe love should cause no harm to the person on the receiving end. The first rule of the game called love is you need to learn to love you before you can love anyone else or in fact anyone can love you in return. Finally, true love is unconditional and that is why the Hebrews described it as Agape.


The Definition of Love by Dilys D'Gold

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