Visiting Lionel

by Catherinebutterfly

I had a wonderful day with my son. We shared laughter, prayer, food, and history. Listening to him speak about "White County" what he calls (Wisconsin) and "Freedom" I listened, enjoyed all he said until he took my hand and said Mama I am locked up, not blind or deaf. I knew there was a lot on his mind when he called, but I didn't know how deep his thoughts laid, or how hurt he was. I listened to all he had to say at first I felt great, laughed at his jokes and wondered when is he going to tell me what is really on his mind.

But when he spoke of happenings in America and Leadership I listened. "According to the Bible, God makes it clear in His Word that it is no accident who our rulers are, that it is God who puts those rulers in office and God who takes them out of office. We are to honor, respect, and pray for those God has placed in authority over us. Sometimes I find this hard. Especially with the way we have been treated in America. We are to pray for these people who has us locked up like animals up in here. Some of us belong up in here, but Mama, you know all of us don't belong in here. Prison was not created for man, but for demons, yet we are the ones locked up.

As long as I can remember black people have had to honor, respect or do what I white people say. America was build on the Black man's blood, and the white man is yet receiving credit for it. Prison is just another way to keep slavery and a means for these white people to do what they wanna do, and not have to work to hard for it. We are commodities, genie pigs nothing more or nothing less, most of us will never leave these walls. Guilty or not. Just like most never left slavery. Do you think the white people that stole from Africa is going to be sitting in Heaven, with the blood of children and families on their hands crying out to God or is this too only for the Blacks.

Mama, I have spend over eleven years behind these walls now for something I didn't do. There are lifers in here that are virgins, came in when they were children. The system is full of innocent people, while the devils sit in office giving orders and robbing the poor. I am in here because of something some crackers said I did. If you read my transcripts you will see there isn't one finger print that belongs to me. And the stuff they said that was taken and found, how could I have done all of that in less than fifteen minutes Did you receive my box? Yes I told him, I sent you my transcripts because they don't mean anything any more.

"Land of the 'free". Free for whom? They treat us like animals, and welcome every other race in the world here. I remember when they were throwing Haitians back into the water. Will God make them rulers over the Black man in the world to come as well? I could feel his pain. I could almost taste it. I lost my family, friends, my life and they smile at me and I am supposed to like it. I am real Mama, I don't play with God. I try everyday to summit totally, but something deep inside nags at me about the rules, and the racisms of this world. "Once saved always saved" am I supposed to believe this?

You sound so bitter I said to him. God tell us to love our enemy, to pray for them. Well Praying for our enemies, isn't always an easy thing to do, it is hard to pray for someone that's taken your freedom, your life, your family. They stole my youth and not one of them can restore it. we have enemies in here, out there, in the justice system, we have enemies every where we go. Not because we have done anything to them, but because of our skin. Look at what happened to you today. A little power in that cops hand and he took advantage of it. I hope he gets what he deserved. Let it go I said to him. It's okay. I made it out there didn't I?

You don't have anything and that which you can get, they lay in wait and take that too. Grandma use to say they are not to be trusted, that they are devils and the older I get the more I believe it. She said "they will sleep with us, rape our people, and kill us wth the blink of an eye, yet we are to love them." Sometimes I wonder was it in the first Bible. Willie Lynch said teach them to love us more than themselves and it's yet going on. Honor those in leader? That is what the Bible tells us to do. Then it said be the head and not the tail. How can you be anything when they know what you are going to do before you do? It was the example our Lord gave us on the cross as He forgave those who nailed him to that tree. Mama I am not Jesus. I know what the Word say but sometimes I can't help but wonder how much of it did these people change.

My son sat across from me looking like a big black Buddha. I remember so well when Pops asked me, "Son, do you realize that it was God who allowed Adolph Hitler to rise to power? It was God who allowed the Emperors of Rome to hold office. Never forget, the New Testament was written under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit during the time Rome was in power and there was mass persecution of Christians. Yet God clearly calls us to pray for our leaders. Yea, I think about it all the time. While we are being slaughtered we are to kneel and pray for them. I always thought the name of the game was self survivor. Not self hate and murder. Then he smiled. Forgive me for making you uncomfortable, but you taught me to think for myself.

It's a spiritual thing I know, and maybe I'll never understand it, but I do try. And just when I think I understand a few things, I get slapped with something new. Mama do you know I don't have one child of my own? Like Germane I didn't get one Father's Day card, yet I've taken care of how many children? How many have called me daddd?. I couldn't say anything. He reached out and took my hand and surprisingly he said "We have many problems in the country today. Most of those problems like health care, we have up in here, but as far as immigration, employment, and taxes we don't have those problems, we are assests to the system, we see this stuff on the news if they wasn't in the news we wouldn't know anything. We all know they will be debated at length in the coming weeks, months, and years. However, these are logistical, practical problems. The real problems we face in this country are spiritual. This world truly does belong to the devil. And he got the keys to this furnace.

Lionel set back, rubbed his graying beard, and smiled that old loving smile and said, for the most part, we don't have many problems in here,.. not meaning I wanna stay any longer then I have to. It just means Mama it could be worst. Don't worry about us, take care of yourself. You're all I got and I don't wanna come home and you're not there. Take care of yourself Mama. I knew my big Teddy Bear was more worried about me then himself, and no matter what I said, he was going to worry.

Lionel, I said, I'll be fine. I know you will he said and smiled. Mama the practical application for your life today is this: Whatever problems you are facing in your life are NOT the real problems. Finances may be a major issue today. Addiction to alcohol, drugs, gambling, or sex may be a major battle people are fighting. marriages may be in trouble, health issues are being confronted with. All of these issues, are surface problems, practical day-to-day real life issues we have to deal with. But the real problems in our life, just like the real problems in this country, are SPIRITUAL. They think we got it bad in here, but they are killing each other faster out there.

Anyone with common sense can look back on the brief history of the United States and see the Biblical principles upon which it was founded and set up to operate under. There can be no doubt that the greatness of this country, in spite of its very young age compared to countries in the rest of the world, are because of this personal relationship with God and His Word. And the misuse of the blacks., The problems we face today are because we have forgotten God, tossed His Word to the side, and decided to do it "our way". No more prayer in school. The legalized killing of babies every year. Our people are copy cats, followers even up in here, they give to the white and misuse their own.

It's hard sometimes to believe in a God that allow us to suffer at the hands of devils and then tell us to pray for them God's plan for the family is perverted. Bold and shameless these people take our lives, yet we are to love them. America has very easy access to every kind of sin imaginable. Our great country, founded on Biblical principles, Mama has misappropriated the freedoms God gave us. We have used our free will to consciously ignore God and to turn our back on Him. God gave us the ability to make that choice. But never forget there are consequences for our choices. There are consequences for rebelling against God. That's one of the problems, they lynch us, kill us, still our lives but we are to repent and ask for forgiveness. You say the 'willlie Lynch letter isn[t real, if its not then what is?: 'everything that the man said has happened, is happening and to who. Our people. Our people, we are the most hated people in the world. Here in 'American.

This country has lived off of the obedience to God of our forefathers. Not many of us have enjoyed the blessings of their faithfulness. Because as soon as we get one foot off the ground they are knocking at your door or sending you a letter of some sort. Unfortunately, the legacy we will leave to our children and grandchildren, should Jesus tarry, will be the consequences of our rebellion to God and His Word. 2 Chronicles 7:14 says, "if My people, who are called by My name, will humble themselves and pray, and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from Heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land." Deuteronomy 8:19 says, "If you ever forget the Lord your God and follow other gods and worship and bow down to them, I testify against you today that you will surely be destroyed." I ask myself almost everyday. If God be God then what am I doing in here, while murderers etc; walk the streets. Son I said is not too late to get it right with God. I believe God knows your heart and you are His own.

However, we need spiritual leaders, who under the power of the Holy Spirit, will call the people to repentance. Color has nothing to do with what God is about to do. IT IS NOT THE JOB OF THE POLITICIANS TO DO THIS. It is the job of the spiritual leaders and only a spiritual revival will solve the real problems of this country and the dirty, crooked judges, policemen and lawyers. Only God can change things. God has been saying to the leaders today, to pastors, and to anyone who have been given a position of leadership, to those who have been blessed with a national and international platform..."quit building a kingdom to themself and focus on building His kingdom...My people are perishing for lack of knowledge...give them the knowledge and lead them out of the darkness and into the light...come down from your self-built ivory tower that has been lavishly made with the blessings I have bestowed upon you...and feed my sheep...then LEAD my sheep...thus sayeth the Lord God of Israel...."

I am in your life, when the real problems are spiritual. Focus on that side of your life. Get back to the basics. Pray daily. Read the Word daily. Get in church. Find ways to serve God. Set your spiritual base, since everything in your life and who you are flows from there. As you solidify your spiritual base, you will find the day-to-day problems easier to handle.

Son I said, I am praying for you. I am praying that just as this country needs a spiritual revival, you have a spiritual revival in your own life. That is the answer to building the foundation on which your life is to be built. The answer to the problems of this nation is the spiritual foundation we are on. When I left I knew my son had truly changed. I knew he was no longer a little boy that had lost his freedom, but a man who knew what he had lost, but couldn't believe that the God he served had allowed him to fall into the hands of darkness, once he had made the change in his life for the better. I knew the pain my son was going through only God can heal. I knew that deep within his smiles was aches, and pain that he didn't want anyone to see or feel. His laughter nor his smile was as real as I had once believed. He wasn't just greiving for himself, and feeling sorry, but he was truly hurting for those inside that wall with him as well as the future black men and women of color.

I asked him can I send his thoughts in if I wrote them, and he said, it for sure can't hurt me. Then I left the prison only with another need of prayer, stronger than that which I had gone with.

Visiting Lionel by Catherinebutterfly

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