New Birth of Truth

by Catherinebutterfly

I rose one morning listening to a cry
The still small voice of the child within
The cry was within me
The child within me crying caused by hidden sin
At first I was loss, not understanding what it was
That I had heard.
As I grew I came to know and identify the cry from above
Sent to me by the Father out of His great love
As time moved on, the cry became louder
As I grew running with a crowd that would only
Grow wilder.
Soon I came to understand that I was to bow to no man
That I stood among the chosen few
And there were just so many things children of God would
Not do.
As I moved on among the crowd
If felt it first and then I knew without a doubt
The spiritual me had stop growing
For good seeds I was no longer sowing.
I Had not been able to develop into that which Christ
Had brought me forward to be.
It was the Christ child dying inside of me.
The Christ child dying
Daily crying,
Imperfection can not stand before perfection
Under fed, under nurtured, under loved
But I was yet just a child running wild with the crowd
Hearing the child cry within hunted me
Hounded me, driving me to look within me
The broken spirit constantly warned me of my daily sin
I heard her throughout the day
Throughout the night
No matter what I did or say from her I could not get away
I heard her as she fought to be release
From within me
Until I repent and confess I knew from the torment of
Her I would never be free.
I heard her as I learned to pray
She taught me what I was to say
What I was to do
But my earthly family rejected me
Because they thought it was a demon living within me
As the days grew longer
The years went pass
I heard the child within me grow sadder,
The chosen child within driven into madness
Surrounding myself with total sadness
As the Christ child within was being held
Captured within the flesh of me
I knew among mankind I would never be free
For the flesh had already begun to kill me.
Here where protection and education promised to be
The child within me fought for release
As Wisdom, she was to give unto me that which I was
To give unto the world instead of being uplifting she slowly died
The more she died the more silent she became
I could barely hear her whispering within my brain.
Reminding that unto the cross my sinning was bringing
Unto my Savior heart ache and shame
That child’s cry followed me
Where ever I went, what ever I did
That child’s cry filled my mind
The voice within warren me
That, that child within is me
Send by the Father to over see
All those that He brought before me
Salvation laid at my tongue, their future was at stake
As I watched so many fall and stumble into the gates of hell
For as a human being loss among mankind I couldn’t even help me.
Opening my third eye the child allowed me to preview Truth
As I was to tell it to all that the Father would draw
But those that came could not hear, and those that heard did
Not understand.  Blind eyes, deaf ears and death was all around me. 
Yes the child within was dying.  
Opening my spiritual eye for me to see she allowed me the opportunity 
to get it right as she introduced herself as the Holy Spirit 
that desired to live and let live, to give counselor and guidance I had blocked her
She was yet a child for I had not allowed her to grow
Besides a thousand years is a day when Spirit she and Truth told me.
She showed me how my life was passing me by as Truth stood in agreement.  
Father forces no one he said to me
That’s why you must give freely and choose freely they said unto me. 
As Father has given unto you, you must give unto them. 
It does not matter if they are black or white 
the outer layer is of no significant for it too shall perish.
She had grown but not as Father had designed her to
And so she warned me
If I wasn’t careful the world would kill me
It had already started to consume me
Daily I was dying not to the spirit world
But to the flesh, as I grew my life had become a mess.
I whom the Father had blessed was now a total mess.
For without “Obedience” and “Understanding” I was sure
To kill her and myself for it was unto the world that
We would die.
Without the “Knowledge” and “Understand” of Christ allow
To live within me I could only get by,
Not live, not let live for she was being contained within
As a prisoner of sin instead of the Holy Spirit as intended
The world had killed me, my earthly parent had not fed me 
and the board of education could not understand me 
or reach me for they did not know me.  
They too were loss out there in a thing called society.
My Spirit Self whom I had grown to know by name now
Was taking me back before entering the world
She cried out to me.  I want to live, I want to love, I want
To teach, I need to draw others unto the Father of Truth
Let me out, let me live, I need for you to die to sin
Take your eyes off man
For all you need is within you, while you draw all this dirt
And filth within.
I can not live within the filth of any woman or man
She cried out to me and the Father with not live in Sin.
He can not come in, you won’t allow Him to
It was through birth pangs, I sprung
Through nothingness I sprung on to bring you unto Truth
Now you got me sitting here in this big chair going no where
Even after I opened your third eye
You foolishly are allowing me to die
I slowly came to recognize the Holy Spirit living inside
Stepping back, dying to self, the Holy Spirit taught me
Reminded me of who I am, what I am and what
I have always been.
It was The Holy Spirit that sprung through time,
Through birth pangs
Causing me to be ripped out the fleshly womb of my mother
I spurge fore now crying
As the doctor spanked me I laminate before God
As a crying child I enter the world,
Touching the heart of God
This was divine intention
Later to grow into divine intervention
A word so many mention but do not understand
I was born a woman, not a man
Conceived in sin? Created in Holiness
Now left to my earthly parent to teach me
To lead me, to prepare me for that which the Father
Had created me to be,
Father had send me down unto the womb
Of a woman to preach, to teach, to draw all men unto Him
It was here within the womb my new life was to take place
But things changed as I entered the world of hate and sin
Somehow the years would break me or make me
I knew even back then
But would I be able to stand strong
As I had promised Father before He delivered me
Into the womb of my earthly mother?
Send by the Father to live among mankind
Father placed me where He desired me to be.
Tossing and turning within the womb of my earthly mother
I took form and became a living soul among mankind
I conceive my spiritual life in Christ
For God alone paid the price for my life. 
Physically I was set free, spiritually I was now confined
But this was only to be for a short time
For the truth my earthly parents was to teach me
While the Holy Spirit was to bring fore all truth back to my mind
Birth is not the sole work of male and female members
Of the earthly species
Birth is the joyous responsibility given unto me,
Not the conception of being an earthly child,
But a spiritual life in an earthly child
As I develop into maturity my soul became pregnant
With possibilities of divine intervention
As I hunger and thirst after God alone. 
Once my soul glimpsed my beloved,
And my beloved presence took form. 
I found it not enough to be pregnant,
I must give birth.
I had to give birth
Giving birth was and is my destiny
For the Father had planted the Truth within me
My desire for God is my conception
For humility is the womb where
As I began as a child
Humility ensures that I stay out of the way
And allow God to do His work. 
I am physically two parts of the whole
For it was God alone that said unto me
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
before you were born I set you apart:
Now I walk among men, hurt loss and alone
For I have been tarnished by the darkness that I live in
Tarnish by the love of men that knows not love,
Knows neither the Father nor his creation.
I must give Birth to Truth, I must testify to man before
I go and am no more
How many times must I die?
How many times must I watch the living be consumed
By hate and bitterness,
How many times must I watch the greedy grab for that
Which they can not take with them, that which they can not use
How many times, how many times, how much longer must I rise 
and lie down without sleep, without rest 
before I am finally called home to peace and rest?
She’s still living within me, barely alive that spirit self that
For years who have tried to teach me, to reach me, to guide me
She yet lives while waiting for us to die. 
She lives confined within a mind of corrupted flesh crying, crying, crying, 
waiting for us to die so that we can at last find rest.
Disobedient, disrespect, rejection, lies, 
and more lies will all die just as she and I
At last I gave Birth to Truth, 
I stood before the congregation and testified to man before God, 
the angels and the devil and man laughed at me.  
They mocked me, they called me names, what? 
Did they scorn me to shame?  No! I did that myself.  
They healed me and sat me free for at last my job is done.  
We can rest now she and I for the Holy Spirit is now alive within me, 
living breathing and waiting upon the creator to call me home.
I have walked the walk of the criminal; I have walked the sinners route. 
I have begged bread, I have visited the living dead, I have prayed for the sick.
 I have testified of what is to come 
and now I wake upon that which is to come so that I can go for I am no more 
I am physically two parts of the whole
For it was God alone that said unto me
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
before you were born I set you apart

New Birth of Truth by Catherinebutterfly

© Copyright 2008. All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be duplicated or copied without the expressed written consent of the author.

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