Empty Moments

by Poetic Essence

Time is all I have watching the rain 
paint temporary abstract murals on my window pane 
I can't get your time spent out of my mind, 
I'm trying so hard to appear as if this 
is just another roll in the hay 
another every other weekend lay 
just another nigga I met the other day 
trying to keep idle minds from wondering what should I say,

Stress is all I feel while walking around my place 
hiding disappointment shadowing my face 
every time I hear my phone chime true 
no longer saving face checking the caller ID knowing it's never you,  
looking for my "good head on my shoulders" in the corner somewhere 
cause I lost it along the lines worrying about you,

Tears is all I cry inside embellishing my situation 
because I hold too much pride, 
refusing this emotion to take hold of my mind 
not wanting the spectators on the sidelines 
to change their perspectives of my "brush it off my shoulders" 
and "I'm a true solider" mentality when in actuality 
my heart is colder than what it was before maybe 
that's why he exited stage right out my front door,

Memories is all I hold while laying face down hugging sheets 
and fabric covered comfort feeling heat 
from silent tears invade my skin every now and again 
feeling the breeze kiss my face from the open window 
as I inhale what's left of your scent faintly tainting my bed 
and it's the only way I can feel you next to me 
without letting you see your absence has gotten the best of me 
and with every breath I, breathe you and get high,

Pieces is all I keep broken and shattered still 
taunting me mercilessly while lying in the corner in solitude 
serving as "forget him he's gone" trash heap, 
sowing what I reap with your shirt tucked under my pillow 
feeling despair get deep thinking of your breath on my neck 
with shivers rocking my weary soul to sleep 
awakening in the night turning clockwise to my right 
feeling your presence hoping to clear the darkness away from the light,

Pain is all I know from having conversations with my battered heart 
bitter at the end but always fragile from the start 
my ailments and hurts are starting to arise 
from the empty look hidden deep in my eyes, 
a part of me still asking the what's when's and why's 
what's the reason, when did it begin 
and why did it happens the pains, deceits, and lies, 
still trying to mask the cries I hold on to since we said our goodbyes

Stress is all I feel, Tears is all I cry, 
Memories is all I hold, Pieces is all I keep, 
Pain is all I know, hope is what is distant, 
gazing at me pitifully from afar still feeling happiness is non-existent, 
I need an intermission from this reality I can't adapt to, 
that I was fine with when I knew I could fill the empty voids 
with the feeling of loving you, wanting to let go 
and go somewhere forgetting about you praying for 
release from this pain I hold in vain 
that feels different but is still the same 
every time my soul whispers your name, 
I'm still left here looking into a reflection 
of a love deferred hoping everyday to see you staring back at me 
through the tear stained glass knowing that 
Empty Moments and Time is all I have

Empty Moments by Poetic Essence

© Copyright 2005. All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be duplicated or copied without the expressed written consent of the author.

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