How It's Gonna Be

by Bradford J. Howard

Im trying to find the words that will say this/ 
The best way it can be said/ 
Because when I try to write them down/ 
It always seems like they cant be read/ 
It seems with matters of the heart,/ 
Its always hard to start/ 
I need to let these feelings out/ 
But I cant let them drive us apart 

This whole time, you and me have braved it all/ 
Always pushed the other forward, never let them fall/ 
I told you so many things that no one knows/ 
And I know the side of you that you never show/ 
It was like there was something that was always there/ 
And at least in the beginning, it didnt hurt to care/ 
But then I found my thoughts going elsewhere/ 
I started seeing more in you, and my mind began to dare/ 

Wed be studying, and Id be visually undressing you/ 
Sitting there watching the game, Id be mentally caressing you/ 
Wed be talking on the phone, and Id cease to understand/ 
Because Id be too busy picturing myself as your man/ 
So now I find myself at a point I didnt want to reach/ 
Find myself forced to learn the lesson that life loves to teach/ 
For Im forced to make a choice I dont want to make/ 
But theres a consequence down any road that I decide to take/ 

What do you do when the person that you call your friend/ 
Grows into someone that you could see yourself spend/ 
A moment, a night or two, maybe even a life with?/ 
She becomes someone youre not content to just 
spend time with/ 
So, you see, I find myself in that position with you/ 
Ive tried everything, and I still cant stop thinking of you/ 
Though we were once friends, I see now that I want you with me/ 
I hate to admit it, but from now on, thats how its gonna be 

So I sat there one day asking myself/ 
If I should let it all go, put my feelings on the shelf?/ 
I didnt want to lose someone I cared about to something like this/ 
I mean, thoughts would remain thoughts, unless we happened to kiss/ 
But then I noticed that my logic was all over the place/ 
Wed be conversing, and Id be picturing my hand on your face/ 
Youd come to my room, and Id be straightening it all up/ 
Random thoughts would enter my mind when parties got you messed up/ 

It got to the point where you would mention other dudes/ 
And you probably noticed, my language went the route of rude/ 
Or maybe there were instances when we were with your friends/ 
And I got silent when yall would talk about the other men/ 
I began to wonder why you never mentioned me/ 
Began to wonder if you spoke this way intentionally/ 
I started taking your embraces like they meant something/ 
You said my name and my mind just started running/ 

So I see now that I can no longer call you just a friend/ 
Because I possess a knowledge that could make our friendship end/ 
It wasnt even my actions, but my thoughts that set this all in motion/ 
For friendship falls when one person within it is seized by emotion/ 
So maybe perhaps you might not feel the same way/ 
Maybe you dont see this became a charade the day my feelings came into play/ 
You are no longer just a friend, but the woman that I must have with me/ 
And we must both accept that, from now on, this is how its gonna be

How It's Gonna Be by Bradford J. Howard

© Copyright 2005. All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be duplicated or copied without the expressed written consent of the author.

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