Our Last Slow Grind

by B.T. Bonner

where were you when I needed you?
caught somewhere between a 360 and a 6-9
that got me trippin on our last slow grind.... salty as hell
and forced to inhale smells of another mans sweat and sex
and the stench of his 2 day old Obsession between your breasts
that got me choking on thoughts of how your night was spent
all the rhythms and different positions that had you bent
rage flashes mental pictures of red stained glass through my head
blinding lights and even the burning bed
this time I got caught up in the real crying game
only the woman and the man wasn't the same thang
when I stepped back far enough to see the passion marks
I thought were beauty scars
the stretch marks that I couldn't see in the dark
the loose fit even when I was hard
turned my layin' up into a shot in the dark
where were you when I needed you?
somewhere between an orgasm and a slow grind?
pretending that everything was fine
I should have seen it coming like a victim of a senseless crime
the phone call hangups that 69 couldn't find
the pages at all hours
blowing up your hip but I didn't trip
Do you remember that?
I thought that not asking would make it all fade away
if only for one night I could sleep image free
without the taste of this mans body bathing my lips
without envisioning the hand prints he left on your hips
but my battle was lost when he got off
and his cum shot from your rim shot stained MY sheets
before he wiped off with my favorite soft towel with initials
embedded  B.T.
when I knew that I hadn't been your freak in at least a week
I felt so lost
i didn't know whether to
        increase the peace
                clean the sheets
                        or unleash the beast
i did know that there was neither a here nor a there
so I wasn't surprised that he forgot his underwear
and that there were sweat beads still in your hair
dancing around and waving in the air
taunting me to take your fuckin head off
and then watch you get off...the floor
as I remember that thick taste from your last kiss
                I didn't know whether to reach for a breathe mint or a
feeling beat down by this Jones that came back around (and around)
and didn't stop when you hit the ground
I sat down next to you huffing and puffing
feeling used and clowned
my insides began to shatter
as I remember all of that wasted chatter
about life and love
about dreams
and all the other things that kept us whole
those talks about our goals
talks about growing old
now its spoiled food for the soul
I remember all the walks in the park
getting high and drunk afterwards
I remember every tender kiss
i sit back and reminiscence over you
all that shit that we used to do
I remember every time you cried
I remember helping you every time you tried
listening to your thought (even when you were high)
I remember telling you that YOU were the joy in my life.....
I should have known that there was another
that was obviously good enough for you not to use a rubber
when you rode his thang under the cover
Now I'm restless
my worst fear steady choking the life out of me
I felt trapped like a prisoner
innocent victim of your circumstances
ignorant to all of your foul glances
from the corner of your eye
cutting through me as you look over my shoulder at another guy
I should have seen the writing on the wall

Our Last Slow Grind by B.T. Bonner

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