Never Givin It Up!!
"I don't know if I can do this.I'm not ready, let's just chill for a minute, okay? I thought he would be mad, but he just raised up and sat on the edge of the bed. The lights were off so I really couldn't see too well, but I could tell he had his face buried in his hands. He let out a long sigh and finally replied, "It's cool baby. I know you're not ready. I said I was willing to wait and I am." He laid down next to me and I laid my head on his chest. I felt awful. He knew I was a virgin when we got together but I guess like everyone before him, he thought he'd be the one to change that. I wasn't convinced at all. But now it's different.
We've been dating for six months and not once did he try to pressure me. So this is the closest I've ever been to givin it up and it's scaring the shit out of me. I know he cares about me, but there's still something holding me back.
I raised up and looked him in the face. His eyes were closed but I knew he wasn't sleep. "Baby we gotta talk about this." He opened his eyes and looked at me. "What is it to talk about? You said you wasn't ready and I respect that. I can't do shit about it but wait."
"But it's been six months and you claim you haven't had any in all that time. C'mon baby, you're a grown ass man with needs. Don't you sometimes get tempted?" He put the pillow over his head and let out an angry laugh. I knew I was pushin buttons, but there was some shit I needed to know. "Baby, take the pillow off your head and answer my question." With that, he got up out of the bed and stood in front of me. "Do I get tempted? Hell fuckin yea I get tempted. Every mothafuckin day I'm tempted. I got bitches callin my cell askin if they can see me. I even had this one ho call me today talkin bout she ain't got no damn clothes on," by now he was yelling and everytime he started a new sentence he got louder,"So hell yea I'm tempted, but I don't want anybody but you. I'm waiting for you and if you don't have no trust in me then what the fuck am I doing it for!"
By the time he finished I was already out of the bed putting my clothes on. This nigga had me supremely fucked up. "Look,I'm about to go home. I'll call you tomorrow."
"Naw man, don't leave. I'm sorry I yelled, but this shit is killin me. I love you and I wanna be able to show you in a different way but you won't let me. That shit hurts. C'mon baby, I'm sorry I yelled."
He pulled me to him and started hugging me real tight. I knew this was frustrating for me, but I have morals and values that I've lived with my whole life and I can't just change. I've always wanted to walk down the isle in a white dress and have it actually mean something. I can't just give that up.
"Look baby, I know you're sorry and I forgive you but I gotta go anyway. I have an 8:00 class and I don't wanna miss it so I'll just call you tomorrow,alright." He gave me one last sweet ass kiss and let me go.
The next day in class all I could think about was the night before. He was right,I should trust him. I mean, I do trust him and I know he cares about me. So maybe I should just forget about everything else and let him love me like he wants to.
I decided that tonight would be the night. I'd suprise him though. All I cared about was making my baby happy and I couldn't wait any longer.
I got home about 7:00. I looked in my closet for the sexiest ass dress I could find. After I found this skimpy ass black mini dress with a split all the way from the neck to the belly, I took a milk and honey bath. My baby was going to be satisfied tonight no matter what.
Looking in the mirror, I had to admit that I cleaned up just too damn good. I was hot and tonight I was going to get even hotter. After tonight I would be a different woman.
I had an extra key so I let myself into his apartment. "Baby, where you at?" I got no answer but that was funny because the TV was on so he had to be home. "Hey baby, I gotta suprise for you. Where you at?" When I got to the bedroom door I hesitated. He never closes his bedroom door if he's by himself. "Baby you in here?"
I couldn't believe what I saw when I opened the door. There was my baby, the same nigga who swore up and down last night that he didn't want anyone but me, the same nigga who swore he would wait on me, grinding his ass on top of some girl who damn sure didn't look like me. Now ain't this a bitch!!!
And these niggas wonder why I'm still a virgin!!!!!!!