Vernon and Willie didn't have enough sense to poor piss out of a boot even with the instructions written on the heel. Now, they were contemplating robbing a convenience store. Once they had it all worked out, Vernon drove the raggedy truck to the front of the store where Willie hopped out and went inside.

After wandering down the aisles for several moments, Willie grabbed some chips and a candy bar then stood in the waiting line as if he were going to pay for the items. When the last customer paid, Willie waited until the customer left the store and then with his hand jammed in his jacket pocket he bellowed at the night clerk, "give me all the money in the register or I'll blow your brains across the counter".

The man behind the counter responded immediately. His actions suggested that this wasn't his first time being a part of a robbery. The clerk moved with precision removing the money from the cash register, handing the bag to Willie and stepping back behind the counter in one smooth move. That's when it all went bad.

When Willie brought his hand forward to grab the money he didn't notice that it was the same hand that supposedly held a gun in it. Willie didn't notice it at first but the clerk did. While Willie's only weapon was only his finger in his jacket pocket, the clerk had a .357 magnum beneath the counter that was very real.

Fear hit Willie like a left hook. For just a second his feet locked to the floor as the clerk snatched his pistol from beneath the counter. In an instant, Willie broke free and sprinted to the door and into the parking lot. With pistol in hand the clerk leaped over the counter and opened fire as Willie zigged and zagged into the night. Just as Willie reached Vernon's open truck door, a bullet caught him in the ass knocking forward into the truck.

The impact of the bullet and the remainder of Willie's speed put him into the passengers seat next to Vernon as they started their get away. Screeching from the parking lot, Vernon failed to notice the one-way sign and turned directly into the oncoming traffic where they promptly collided head-on with a police cruiser. The collision threw both of them forward and smashed their heads into the safety glass.

They were both groggy and glassy-eyed when the police came to Vernon's truck. The store clerk arrived a few seconds later and blurted out the entire story. They arrested Vernon and Willie on the spot. A brief search produced the bag of money. That's when the clerk spoke up again. That's the bag I gave him, " he said. "He snatched it out of my hand and ran out before I could get to him." The policeman with the bag opened it and looked at the contents for several seconds before saying, "are you sure this is the bag?"

The clerk looked closely and realized he had made a mistake. It was the right bag but it didn't contain money. It was his lunch-a bologna sandwich, a bag of chips and two Twinkies. When the policeman emptied the contents onto the hood of Vernon's truck, everyone laughed including Vernon. Willie's ass hurt too much for him to see the humor.