I Can Do Bad By Myself

by Aujeahnaie B. Reed

Damn, over 100 channels and ain't shit on tv. I got up off the white plush sofa and walked over to the picture window. Whew! I'm tired as hell. I stretched and heard all 200 and something of my bones crack. I need to be washing some clothes or working out while I got the house to myself this weekend. Man, I can't remember the last time my house was this quiet. With a set of 4 year old twin boys running around it's a wonder my house is still standing. Don't get me wrong I'm not complaining, it's just that Lord knows I needed this break. I had to literally damn near beg my ex-husband to take them today. But, that's cool, shit it ain't like he's been there for them. From the time we got divorced 3 years ago, they've barely seem him. But that's cool, too. I can be mama and daddy to my babies because they're mine, dammit! When we split up, that muthafucka just knew I would be calling him and begging him for help. Shit, I fooled the hell out of him and his dumb ass family. They failed to realize, I have a Computer Engineering degree and a job making $150,000 a muthafucka year! Fuck him! True enough I was stupid for getting married to his stupid ass. But, just like every other naive' young female in this world, I thought "love" was the shit. Fuck that too! Just like the song says, 'Love don't live here anymore'.

I was 21 when I met Tramaine. No matter how hard I try to forget that day, I can't. I was with my sister, Sania, at the mall. "Girl, let's go in here. I want to see if they got some green sandles to go with this dress."

"Nia, I'm tired. Let's go. We got something to wear to the club tonight and I still got to work."

"Essence, you know damn well you ain't tired." She proceeded to literally drag me into Baker's Shoes. I found me a seat and plopped down into it. No sooner than I reached into my purse to get my cell phone to call my job, I had decided in the last 15 seconds not to go work, shit, like I said, I was tired. I had been up all night studying for exams. Anyway, I got out my phone and all of a sudden I heard the most deepest, sexiest voice I had ever heard in my life. "Damn, wait til I get home before you call me."

I looked up and, ladies, I swear I saw fireworks and shit. This man was tall, at least 6'8", smooth cinnamon complected, sparkling brown eyes, freshly shaven, smelling like Issey Miaki, dressed in a pair of black Guess shorts and a white Guess shirt. His legs were just beautiful, not hairy at all, like he shaved them or something. After looking at him like he was my last meal and I was on death row, all my dumb ass managed to say was, "Huh?" Which sounded more like "Duh" like Bernie Mac in Kings of Comedy.

"I said wait til I get home before you call me." At that point, he began to look worried and wrinkled his brow as if to say, you allright.

"I'm sorry, you caught me off guard. My mind was elsewhere."

"Well my mind has been on you all day." He replied, trying to mack. But, I didn't mind.

"Is that right? And why is that?" I asked.

"Because you're my wife and the mother of my children." He took that as an invitation to sit next to me.

"Hmm. What if I tell you I don't want kids?"

"We can work that out after the wedding." At that point we just sat there looking at each other like we were the only two people in world.

"So, how about it?" He inquired after a few minutes.

"How about what?" I got lost in his eyes and forgot everything that was said.

"How about us getting married?"

I decided to play along and said, "Sure, but you have to buy me dinner first. And of course a rock bigger than Whitney's."

"No problem. Just name the place and the preacher."

From that moment on, I Essence Washington, was madly in love with Tramaine Marshalls. We were inseperable that summer. We went everwhere together. Movies, shopping, out to eat, Chicago, Canada, New York. Man, we travelled so much I barely had time unpack my suitcase before he was calling me telling me pack. Then it, happened. Exactly a year to the day we met, he proposed to me. And I'll be damned if the ring wasn't bigger than Whitney's. Ok, it wasn't but it was phat as hell platinum band, 3 caret diamond, with baguets. When he opened the box to pop the question, I heard "BLING!" I said yes before I knew what hit me.

You know how they say, I don't know who the fuck 'they' is, but 'they' always saying something. Anyway, you know how they, the woman changes after she says "I do"? Well, that shit ain't true and I'm go call 'they' and tell them personally. Man, no sooner than we got from the Virgin Islands, that nigga changed on me. He had a good job as a designer at an automotive company and wanted me to quit school. I laughed in his muthafuckin face. We were living in a penthouse downtown sitting at the kitchen table having breakfast on beautiful Sunday morning. I almost choked on my omlet laughing at him. "You want me to do what?"

"I want you to quit school. Ain't no need in you getting a degree and you won't be using it." He looked at me like he was my daddy or something. And I don't know that nigga!

"Say what? What the fuck you mean I won't be using my degree? Nigga you crazy as hell." I pushed away from the table and stood up to get more apple juice.

"I mean just what the fuck I said. You won't be working. I make enough money to support the both of us plus any kids we may have. So, ain't no need in you getting a degree to just hang on the wall collecting dust."

"Listen, let me tell you something. I worked too damn hard to graduate from high school with a scholarship. A full one at that. I am at the top of my class in school. I'm getting ready to graduate next year, have a job already lined up for me and you got the nerve to tell me to quit. Fuck that! I got too much ahead of me to listen to this shit." I slammed to referigerator door so hard I heard some eggs fall. I then walked past him and proceeded to trot way to the bathroom to take a nice long bubble bath. I had ran my water to perfection and the bathroom was smelling like peaches from the scented bubbles I put in the tub. I got my book, 'Abide with Me by E. Lynn Harris', pinned up my hair, took off my white robe and stepped in the tub. "AAAHHHH." I said as I closed my eyes and let the water ease my tension.

"Don't you ever walk away from me!"

"What the fu--?" I damn near jumped out the tub and took off running. I didn't even hear him come in here. But there he was, sitting on the toliet with fire in eyes.

"Man, whatever." I got comfortable and opened my book. He stood up and was towering over me before I knew it. All I saw was a shadow with clenched fists.

The first thing I thought of, was that he could easily drown my ass in this position, so I threw my book on the floor and stood up. I was trying to hurry and get out the tub before this muthafucka got any bright ideas. Too late. He grabbed me by my neck and lifted me out the tub. He threw me against the bathroom door like I was a rag doll. "Listen to me, bitch! You will NOT walk away from me until I say so. You will get you narrow ass in the kitchen to clean that mess you made in the refrigerator. And you will quit school. Have I made myself clear?!" With his hand around my neck, how in the hell did he expect me to say anything? So you know what I did? I spit in his face. If he wanted to fight, I was going to show him how the east siders do it.

***To Be Continued***

I Can Do Bad By Myself by Aujeahnaie B. Reed

© Copyright 2001. All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be duplicated or copied without the expressed written consent of the author.

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