by Stephanie Angelique
He came home and the weight of the world was sitting on his shoulders. He was the head of his household and was supposed to be the one who stood strong, but at this moment he was weak. He felt that the distance from his jeep parked at the sidewalk to his front door was a journey that seemed impossible to make, but he forced himself and made it all the way to the couch.
His wife watched from the window and knew that there was a problem. She stood in their bedroom watching as he sat in his Escalade for at least 20 minutes. What was wrong with him? Why was he sitting in the Jeep for so long? She thought about all the time she knew this man and she never remembered him ever looking like this. She was concerned.
The 9 months of living with this man was a totally new experience and today seemed like a new page in a brand new chapter. "Lord, give me the strength", was her silent prayer. She found herself praying that quite often these days. She thought back to the first three months of the marriage. She never knew just how much her man enjoyed and desired sex. At first she was with it, then she became worried because it seemed that sex was all they did.
She thought about the man who while they were dating treated her like she was a queen in his court. But now that they were married she found that the King was not perfect and the kingdom was not always bliss. He watched sports, for what seemed like, all the time. He left the cap off the toothpaste, he ate like a horse (which kept her cooking), and he snored like there was a Mack truck coming through their bedroom. What they said was true…you never know a person until you live with them.
Once he got into the house she waited to see if he would call for her or just come upstairs. She would continue to make up the bed and straighten up the room. She was glad she took the day off. Her home needed cleaning and she needed some rest. Working full time and being a wife was hard work. She was still learning how to balance her time between work, her marriage and herself. She didn't want to loose the individual that she was. So she juggled her schedule quite often.
He had been in the house for at least 25 minutes already. Why was it so quiet downstairs? She was use to hearing the television when he was home. Plus he knew that she was home all day and told her to make plans to be loved until her toes curled. Her concern grew, so she went downstairs. She found her husband sitting on the couch with his head back and his eyes closed. He hadn't even taken off his suit jacket, and his brief case was on his lap. Something was wrong.
She walked behind the couch and put her hand on his far head. He looked up into her smiling face. He took her hand from his far head and placed it over his lips and kissed it sweetly. He then silently directed her to sit down next to him, never letting go of her hand. She sat down, he opened her arms, laid back and then brought her arms around him. Then he breathed a deep sigh. It was times like these he was glad that he had someone to come home to.
She held her husband wondering what brought this on. She knew that this was a moment of weakness…something she had never witnessed before. I mean since they were married she had seen another side of anger…another side of hurt, but she had never seen a side of weakness. She held him waiting for the next directive, but she knew he was waiting for her to take control. So she held him and prayed for inspiration.
They sat on the couch for almost 40 minutes and he began to be uncomfortable in his suit, so he kissed her hands and then came out of her embrace. He stood up, took off his jacket and tie and then headed for the stairs. When he got to the foot of the stairs he realized his wife was still on the couch. He looked back at her and held out his hand. She followed instructions and they both walked up the stairs hand in hand.
She was glad that she had changed the sheets and curtains in the room. She liked to keep things different so her man would not get bored, especially since they spent so much time in the bedroom in the last nine months. She was also glad that she took the day off. When her husband got in a mood he liked to release his tension with long sessions of making love. She knew that the day of rest was needed to be up to the task at hand.
When he entered the bedroom a smile appeared on his face for the first time for the afternoon. She thought that it was because of anticipation of passion, but he knew he smiled because it was good to know someone loved you and made his house a home. Thank you God for not letting me be alone…especially at times like these. He walked up to the curtains and looked out at his front yard and drive way. He was thankful for all the material but he was more thankful for not being alone in this world. He thought of his friends who were single, players, adulters, or just plain lonely. Thank you God for the blessing of my home…of my wife.
The last nine months were challenging for him. He had been single for 35 years. And for 10 of those years he lived alone. So to have a wife was a totally new experience. She was there all the time. When he wanted her there and when he didn't. He had to consider her in all his decision making. Gone were the days of the carefree bachelor. He thought of the first argument they had over him eating up the left over's while he was home from work. He realized that while they were dating she cooked for him, but she didn't like to cook. That argument was pent up frustration from cooking everyday. And man could she cook.
He stood there and felt her rub his back. Love was a wonderful thing for real. She whispered in his ear to get ready for a bath. This woman knew what he needed. He just wanted her to love him tonight. Just love him. So he did as she told him and prepared for the bath. She ran the water and put those beads in the water that she used to make her feel relaxed. The bathroom was dark, with only the flickering lights of the big 4 candles that she put on each corner of the tub. It was then that he was gla d they paid that extra $1500 dollars for that extra big tub.
She watched him get in the water and put on the CD player. She knew that George Benson's Guitar Jazz always made him feel mellow. She then told him that she would let him sit in there for a while. He didn't want to be alone. He wanted his wife…he needed her to be close. So he asked her to join him in the water. She seemed reluctant to come in. "Baby, please don't make me work hard tonight. I want you here with me." That was a tone she had not heard to often. She knew her man needed her.
She undressed, got in the tub sitting behind him. Again he laid in her arms. Every now and then she would pour water on him. He was so relaxed in this water that he didn't want to get out. When the water became to cool he reluctantly let her talk him into getting out of the water. She stepped out of the water before him and put her terry cloth robe on. When he got out she was holding the bath sheet open for him to walk into. He stood there and let her dry him off from head to toe.
When they got into the bedroom she instructed him to sit on the bed. She prayed for inspiration and heard 'pamper'. So she did just that. She had him lay back as she lotioned his body down with her citrus scented lotion from the bath and body shop. After the lotion she had him sit on the floor as she rubbed her husbands bald head with the oil he got from the barber. He was in heaven. He fell asleep while she was rubbing his head. She didn't know what was wrong but she knew it was something serious. She woke him up and put him in the bed. He did not put up a fight. He was tired and needed the rest.
As he got in the bed he watched his wife fix the curtains and turn down the light in the room, because she knew he did not like to be in total darkness when he was sleeping alone. He needed to wake up to light or to love. Since they were married he only had to wake up to light a few times…which did not compare to waking up to love. He wanted to go to sleep with love and wake up to love. "Baby don't leave, come lay with me."
She knew that it was just a matter of time. She smiled at him lightly and made her way to the bed. She was still wearing the terry clothed robe and knew that she wanted him to work a bit so she got in the bed with the robe on. She loved it when he undressed her. She got under the satin sheets and waited for the love session to begin. As he reached for her she felt herself getting excited in her precious place. He pulled at the belt of her robed and untied it. He instructed her to take it off. She hoped that she could satisfy him tonight. She knew he needed to release all this tension he brought home with him.
She took the robe off and leaned in to kiss him. He appreciated her effort and kissed her back long, deep and slow. He just wanted to feel loved tonight, so he ended the kiss and pulled her close and laid his head on her breast. He just wanted to feel her close to him. Now he could rest. He could block out the events of the day and just lay inside the arms of the love of his life.
She was worried at this point. Her husband backed away from lovemaking. That was a first…and she was worried. She laid there holding her man. The man who she had loved as a friend first and then realized one afternoon over lunch that she was in love. He was the first man that she ever opened up herself to on so many levels before the physical came into play. He was the only man she dated that did not demand sex before marriage. The only man that prayed for and with her. She loved this man more and more as the days went by. Now he did not want to make love to her. Why?
He felt himself drifting off to a peaceful sleep when he felt her shake him. He reluctantly lifted his head from her warm full breast and looked into her eyes. "Yes baby-?" He could see the concern on her face and now he was worried. She asked him if he was having a problem tonight. He smiled and knew where the worry came from. He loved the innocence of his woman. She was such a strong woman, but so afraid of love. She thanked God that she opened up herself to him and let him love her the right way. He had to set her mind at ease.
"Baby, there is no problem between you and I. You are still as beautiful and as sexy to me as on the first day that I met you. I had a very bad day and this is a time when I just want to hold you and feel you next to me. Sex is just one level of our love making, as is talking things out, but this is not the time for those things. Tonight I want to be intimate emotionally. Let's just be tonight." Then he kissed her and went back to laying on her warm full breast. As he laid there he felt her embrace become more secure around him. "Thank you God for our love" was his silent pray.
She had become so weepy since she met this man. He loved her and was her soul mate. She knew this because he made her soul grow. He nurtured her and gave her a comfortable environment for her to grow in. As she reflected, God did not let her forget that she made his soul grow as well. It was her who introduced him to Christ, and it was her who encouraged him to finish law school when he felt like giving up in his third year at Howard. They were growing together. So she held her husband and whispered h er prayer in one sentence…Thank you God for our love.
Intimacy at it's best.