by Alena Harris

I wrestled with my soul and my soul lost.
After years of losing to it
I caught my soul off guard and pinned it down,
tied it up and locked it in a closet.
I wanted...no I needed my soul to be gone
in order to be free to do what I want.
And I am.
Everything that my soul said was wrong I do.
And I feel no real remorse.
I feel alive.
I feel free.
I feel like I am being myself.
I'm open to any and all opportunities.
Life is not boring. Something new happens everyday.
But I can hear my soul questioning my every action,
putting guilt in me.
Guilt I never wanted to feel but I do.
I stand outside the locked closet
thinking about letting my soul regain control.
Life wasn't that bad.
At least I knew I wasn't hurting anybody.
At least I wasn't hurting myself.
I didn't have to lie.
I didn't have to keep secrets.
I didn't feel I was going crazy.
"I'm sorry", I say.
And as I walk away I can hear my soul whisper
"What is done in the dark will soon come to light."

Untitled by Alena Harris

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