As I stand here before you I feel a little embarrassed.
I feel the need to run and hide because I just don’t feel “decent”.
Dare I say I feel naked?
My favorite outfit that I love to wear seems to have become old and raggedy.
People can see through it.
Which makes me wonder how long have I been walking around
with holes in my clothes and no one has said anything?
That special garment that has always been my shield is now letting me down.
People are starting to “know me”.
People can “read me”.
People are beginning to get to me and others can see that.
They see the distant, hurt look in my eyes.
They see the tears run down my cheeks.
The can see the frustration and confusion on my face.
They can hear the neediness in my voice.
But worst of all they can see my heart.
The one thing I tried not to show.
The one place that I never wanted anyone to get to,
but there it is on display for all to see.
They look, they laugh, some shake their heads
and others may offer unsolicited advice.
While I try to piece together what is left of my outfit.
I try to keep some dignity but I guess that is gone
since everything is out there.
I believe I need a change of style.
A new look that can hide the problem areas.
And fool people’s eyes.