Dear Lover?

by Alena Harris

To the Man I Loved or Never Loved (because I didn’t have the time or the energy),

Hello… Greetings…Dear… Whatever it was I must have said to you to greet you.

Right now I am realizing that you weren’t meant for me. I just didn’t have the time to be the one who loved you. Although I did enjoy countless attempts at loving you. Take that how you please. I guess that deep inside it just wasn’t in me. And alas there isn’t anything else for me to say but sorry. I guess I mean that. Well of course I do because as I have said countless times before I never meant to hurt you. But unfortunately I have to be true to myself and to you. I never did lie to you now did I? I may not have told you everything because I live by the motto only tell if they ask and you never seemed to ask the right questions so there fore there was nothing to tell.

Love, such a big word made of four little letters. Yet you were a little more committed to it than I. I apologize for getting your hopes up, thinking that maybe one day I would come around to feeling just as you do or did. Whatever the present state of mind maybe. I wouldn’t allow myself to get to that level. To be honest there were moments when I felt what I thought was love. I mean at those moments being with you was the greatest and I felt something deep in me, but I wouldn’t allow myself to express those words to you. Why? Because I feel that I am incapable and also unworthy. I don‘t want to get too deep into that. Just know that I have enjoyed our time together. You are great and I am trash never to ever find someone like you again. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely Your uncaring, insensitive former “lover”(I use that term loosely)

Dear Lover? by Alena Harris

© Copyright 2003. All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be duplicated or copied without the expressed written consent of the author.

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