I wish I could remember the past
And her innocence and light and song.

I wish I could remember my first prayer as child
Reading the face and palm of then and now
In an endless whirlwind of fear 
The heart is over drawn, 
Pleading euthanasia, shape priestly. 

As if the eyes have learnt blindness
I find no flowers and dreams
The colours are washed off the face
Watching the stranded sun’s strangeness  
And the sky that vanished
Something they gave us for Christmas.

I cant recall the sweetness
Whatever the pretence, 
When waking up meant seeing the sun and smiles..